Love Actually (spoiler alert)
I was told that I would like the British romantic comedy, Love Actually. Fair enough, I enjoyed it at a superficial level. It was actually funny, for the most part. It’s a film that’s directed the way my favourite film Crash is – storytelling through a myriad of relationships. Bookmarking these relationships was a narrator saying that: “if you look around you, hard enough, you can find love everywhere.” However, I felt that in several of these relationships – a married boss having a quiet fondness for his secretary who is hellbent on seducing him, a newly married wife having discovered that her husband’s best mate has had a crush on her for the longest time, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom being infatuated with his maid – Love Actually paints a picture of love that is not love at all. I think we could call it sin.
Sin is simply falling short of God’s standards. Sin in this context works itself out as the pursuit of self-gratification, regardless of our responsibilities, regardless of morality and without concern for the feelings of others.
The message that romantic comedies send out is that love = falling in love = romantic attraction = infatuation. And, in my opinion that seemed to be the strongest message in Love Actually. And, worse, it seemed to justify forgetting and forsaking all other responsibilities for the sake of pursuing a glimpse of romantic gratification – in the name of ‘love’, no – in the name of Christmas!
For a long time, I was fooled by Hollywood and I learnt that love was easy, self-gratifying and devoid of conflict. I can only thank God (and Sarah!) for helping me to see that love is tough, selfless, and strong in the face of conflict.
Having said what I did about Love Actually, I actually appreciated one of the relationships where ‘love’ was depicted. This girl, a office worker, had had a crush on one of her colleagues for a long time – and the whole office knew it. She was also known to be the girl who perpetually has her mobile on, and always answers it without fail regardless of where she is. During the company’s Christmas party, she finally gets to dance with this hot colleague and eventually takes him back to her flat where they follow on from where they left off. As kisses flow and tops fly, this chick is well on the road to bagging her long-desired love. And what should happen? Wouldn’t you know it, her phone rang. Surely, she wouldn’t answer it now?!
She did. She put on a brave front, pretending that she wasn’t busy and proceeded to entertain the caller, leaving her lover waiting. The call ended, they got back into action, and she was well on the road to bagging her long-desired love. And the phone rang again. Surely, she wouldn’t answer it this time!
She did. The caller needed to see her urgently, and she said she wasn’t busy. Her lover left as she did. What could have been so important that she would give up spending the night, and perhaps her life, with the ‘love of her life’?
The next scene showed her in a mental hospital with her brother, her eccentric, even potentially abusive brother. Her colleague left, never again to be her lover – as later scenes depicted. The last scene with her in it showed that male colleague walking by her table, disinterested, as the phone rang again and yes, she answered it, speaking to her brother as per usual before putting it down, collapsing in a flood of tears.
I felt that that girl truly showed love for her brother in putting his need for her companionship before her own. Christmas or not, sex with the man of her dreams or not, she was faithful to her brother. I was encouraged by that relationship. I was encouraged to choose the wellbeing of others above my own.
Of course, that is only a fraction of what love truly is. The Bible tells us that this is how we know what love is – Jesus laid down his life for us. As we look around us, perhaps we can indeed see glimpses of sacrificial love. Hopefully, we can. But all these acts of love combined will never amount to Christ’s perfect love shown in obedience to his Father; and dying in the place of all humanity, his creation.
Do consider what love actually is. Chances are, if it feels good, it probably isn’t love. The truest example of love we know involves the Son of God becoming a human for our sakes – only to die the most horrendous death known to humankind – and worse still, seeing his perfect relationship with his Father severed as he died. All this so that the just punishment of death that we deserve for our sin – our failing to meet God’s standard – can be paid off on our behalves.
The love that Jesus showed was neither easy, self-gratifying nor irresponsible. It worked itself out in him choosing everyday to take steps cross-wards, knowing full well what awaited him on Calvary. It cost him his life, and forsaking for some time his perfect relationship with his Father.
How do you think we should respond to that today?
Sin is simply falling short of God’s standards. Sin in this context works itself out as the pursuit of self-gratification, regardless of our responsibilities, regardless of morality and without concern for the feelings of others.
The message that romantic comedies send out is that love = falling in love = romantic attraction = infatuation. And, in my opinion that seemed to be the strongest message in Love Actually. And, worse, it seemed to justify forgetting and forsaking all other responsibilities for the sake of pursuing a glimpse of romantic gratification – in the name of ‘love’, no – in the name of Christmas!
For a long time, I was fooled by Hollywood and I learnt that love was easy, self-gratifying and devoid of conflict. I can only thank God (and Sarah!) for helping me to see that love is tough, selfless, and strong in the face of conflict.
Having said what I did about Love Actually, I actually appreciated one of the relationships where ‘love’ was depicted. This girl, a office worker, had had a crush on one of her colleagues for a long time – and the whole office knew it. She was also known to be the girl who perpetually has her mobile on, and always answers it without fail regardless of where she is. During the company’s Christmas party, she finally gets to dance with this hot colleague and eventually takes him back to her flat where they follow on from where they left off. As kisses flow and tops fly, this chick is well on the road to bagging her long-desired love. And what should happen? Wouldn’t you know it, her phone rang. Surely, she wouldn’t answer it now?!
She did. She put on a brave front, pretending that she wasn’t busy and proceeded to entertain the caller, leaving her lover waiting. The call ended, they got back into action, and she was well on the road to bagging her long-desired love. And the phone rang again. Surely, she wouldn’t answer it this time!
She did. The caller needed to see her urgently, and she said she wasn’t busy. Her lover left as she did. What could have been so important that she would give up spending the night, and perhaps her life, with the ‘love of her life’?
The next scene showed her in a mental hospital with her brother, her eccentric, even potentially abusive brother. Her colleague left, never again to be her lover – as later scenes depicted. The last scene with her in it showed that male colleague walking by her table, disinterested, as the phone rang again and yes, she answered it, speaking to her brother as per usual before putting it down, collapsing in a flood of tears.
I felt that that girl truly showed love for her brother in putting his need for her companionship before her own. Christmas or not, sex with the man of her dreams or not, she was faithful to her brother. I was encouraged by that relationship. I was encouraged to choose the wellbeing of others above my own.
Of course, that is only a fraction of what love truly is. The Bible tells us that this is how we know what love is – Jesus laid down his life for us. As we look around us, perhaps we can indeed see glimpses of sacrificial love. Hopefully, we can. But all these acts of love combined will never amount to Christ’s perfect love shown in obedience to his Father; and dying in the place of all humanity, his creation.
Do consider what love actually is. Chances are, if it feels good, it probably isn’t love. The truest example of love we know involves the Son of God becoming a human for our sakes – only to die the most horrendous death known to humankind – and worse still, seeing his perfect relationship with his Father severed as he died. All this so that the just punishment of death that we deserve for our sin – our failing to meet God’s standard – can be paid off on our behalves.
The love that Jesus showed was neither easy, self-gratifying nor irresponsible. It worked itself out in him choosing everyday to take steps cross-wards, knowing full well what awaited him on Calvary. It cost him his life, and forsaking for some time his perfect relationship with his Father.
How do you think we should respond to that today?
posted by elliot at 2:43 PM
1 Comments:
Enjoying your comments on the movies! Happy that Prison Break is back?
Teri
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