untitled and random - beware!
Hey guys. How ya doin? Do leave a comment even if it's not about what i blog - just to say hi, and how you're doing. Always nice to hear from ppl back home in Singapore. (and it's not cos i miss Singapore... sniffle!)
I've had a peculiar few weeks since uni started. As i mentioned previously, i've realised the need to be dependent on God more, and as a result i've prayed that God will cause me to rely on Him (which is a rather scary thing to pray cos you never really know what that might entail!). Not entirely sure if what has gone on in the past few weeks is a direct answer to prayer, but it's been so topsy turvy that i have found my inner being really crying out for help, for resolution, for tranquility. It's not all been bad, in fact there hasn't been anything really bad going on, but just struggling on through life trying to live my life in the Spirit - to walk in God's ways and to follow His statutes. That has been insane. So often these days i throw my hands up in the air and waggle them like an orangutan screaming "what the monkey am i supposed to do around here?!" That happens mostly in church, and in uni...
Things in church have improved slightly - yesterday, i went to the beach with some church mates and we had a real good time of fooling around in the surf, playing touch and knocking a volleyball around. Truth be told, our "chemistry" won't be what attracts people to us, and it really isn't what's holding the group together. I guess Jesus told us to "love one another", not to "find chemistry amongst similar folk" - which does seem to make sense now. As usual he has to make things difficult for us, haha...
Also, on Saturday, we had a wee John 1 study with some kids from the youth. Well, 2 and a half kids to be exact, and 2 more from another church. It was good. I think they enjoyed studying it, altho it took them a wee while to get stuck in to an inductive study, something they probably aren't quite used to. Do pray for me - to have a love for the kids, to enjoy studying the Word with them... Pray that they will engage with the study and participate actively. Oh, this study is um... monthly.. haha you can also pray that they will enjoy it so much that they will request a more frequent study :)
Church service itself is a struggle, as it always has been, and as some little bird would say, has been a struggle since Jesus' time and will always be til Christ returns. Fair enough, i say to that, but the sinful part of me keeps telling me i'd be happier elsewhere. Guess we aren't always called to be "happy" followers of Christ. At the end of the service most weeks i crumble into my seat and pray - Lord, what was that, and what am i doing here?! At times it's hard being teachable when your dad is the teacher. I suppose it works both ways.
Uni, too is a struggle on a few fronts... CF is great (more of that later), but i'm really struggling being salt/light amongst uni mates! Not because i struggle to be different, but i struggle with being different! It's hard to be a good witness on campus, simply because it's hard being witnessed at all. I'm hardly around where people hang out.. I find it really hard fitting into the NZ uni culture. Sometimes i wish i were in uni back in Singapore, maybe things wouldn't be so hard then (or they'd be hard in a different way)... but i guess there's a time and a season for everything, maybe now's the time to focus on helping out with CF, and to carry on being faithful to whatever opportunities arise with my secular uni mates. YES YES i know ministry spans my entire being, and worship is a lifestyle, but i couldn't help but WONDER why sometimes ministry seems ineffective... and i like to use the word MINISTRY, is that ok??? (random rave there) And yes i think it's RELEVANT.
Sigh.
All good.
CF on Thursday was stunningly awesome, praise God. We had twenty folk there, which is quite the record, by far :) Really hope they'll stay and grow in the Lord. God was very gracious in providing people, and also a room for the entire semester, and also a location for our Easter retreat at the very last minute!! We are very thankful :)
So that's me for now. Rather bewildered, sometimes frustrated, but secure in the knowledge that my Creator loves me and that I have a hope and a destiny in Christ Jesus my Lord.
Phew.
I've had a peculiar few weeks since uni started. As i mentioned previously, i've realised the need to be dependent on God more, and as a result i've prayed that God will cause me to rely on Him (which is a rather scary thing to pray cos you never really know what that might entail!). Not entirely sure if what has gone on in the past few weeks is a direct answer to prayer, but it's been so topsy turvy that i have found my inner being really crying out for help, for resolution, for tranquility. It's not all been bad, in fact there hasn't been anything really bad going on, but just struggling on through life trying to live my life in the Spirit - to walk in God's ways and to follow His statutes. That has been insane. So often these days i throw my hands up in the air and waggle them like an orangutan screaming "what the monkey am i supposed to do around here?!" That happens mostly in church, and in uni...
Things in church have improved slightly - yesterday, i went to the beach with some church mates and we had a real good time of fooling around in the surf, playing touch and knocking a volleyball around. Truth be told, our "chemistry" won't be what attracts people to us, and it really isn't what's holding the group together. I guess Jesus told us to "love one another", not to "find chemistry amongst similar folk" - which does seem to make sense now. As usual he has to make things difficult for us, haha...
Also, on Saturday, we had a wee John 1 study with some kids from the youth. Well, 2 and a half kids to be exact, and 2 more from another church. It was good. I think they enjoyed studying it, altho it took them a wee while to get stuck in to an inductive study, something they probably aren't quite used to. Do pray for me - to have a love for the kids, to enjoy studying the Word with them... Pray that they will engage with the study and participate actively. Oh, this study is um... monthly.. haha you can also pray that they will enjoy it so much that they will request a more frequent study :)
Church service itself is a struggle, as it always has been, and as some little bird would say, has been a struggle since Jesus' time and will always be til Christ returns. Fair enough, i say to that, but the sinful part of me keeps telling me i'd be happier elsewhere. Guess we aren't always called to be "happy" followers of Christ. At the end of the service most weeks i crumble into my seat and pray - Lord, what was that, and what am i doing here?! At times it's hard being teachable when your dad is the teacher. I suppose it works both ways.
Uni, too is a struggle on a few fronts... CF is great (more of that later), but i'm really struggling being salt/light amongst uni mates! Not because i struggle to be different, but i struggle with being different! It's hard to be a good witness on campus, simply because it's hard being witnessed at all. I'm hardly around where people hang out.. I find it really hard fitting into the NZ uni culture. Sometimes i wish i were in uni back in Singapore, maybe things wouldn't be so hard then (or they'd be hard in a different way)... but i guess there's a time and a season for everything, maybe now's the time to focus on helping out with CF, and to carry on being faithful to whatever opportunities arise with my secular uni mates. YES YES i know ministry spans my entire being, and worship is a lifestyle, but i couldn't help but WONDER why sometimes ministry seems ineffective... and i like to use the word MINISTRY, is that ok??? (random rave there) And yes i think it's RELEVANT.
Sigh.
All good.
CF on Thursday was stunningly awesome, praise God. We had twenty folk there, which is quite the record, by far :) Really hope they'll stay and grow in the Lord. God was very gracious in providing people, and also a room for the entire semester, and also a location for our Easter retreat at the very last minute!! We are very thankful :)
So that's me for now. Rather bewildered, sometimes frustrated, but secure in the knowledge that my Creator loves me and that I have a hope and a destiny in Christ Jesus my Lord.
Phew.
posted by elliot at 8:12 PM
8 Comments:
continue to stay strong in the Lord! here's a greeting from sunny s'pore!
Hey Elliot,
Nice to read your thoughts and troubles and happys man, very honest(i think).
Relying on God is a hard thing, I have been struggling with it on and off over the years. One day I will be thinking 'man im doing fine!' next minute I'm finding out the hard way: 'wow i thot i cud do this myself...no way!!!!God!!!'.But lean on him man, one thing I know from my life, ever since I became a christian: God carries us. He has carried me over and over when I, myself, me, well, wasn't sufficient.
Why is church a struggle, I dont get it?
And about fitting in with the NZ culture, with uni and being selty, I think you're doing great. And I myself don't fit in with the popular culture at all, never have, and its a kind of relief.
God Bless!
Also can you mail me that blog you were talking bout?
Yo Ells! =) Hey brother, keeping u in prayer yeah? Know it's prob tough... but in a way, struggling is a good sign, that we're trying to work through our issues and our godliness? Take heart that you're not alone, we're just all struggling in different parts of the world! But our God is the Same God everywhere and is ever faithful... Hang in there... =)
Yo, thought I'd just leave you a note, fellow stranger in the world. :)
You ain't different, at struggling times, be reminded that that there are like-minded ones all over the world sharing in your life.
And man, look forward to the multitudes whom we can rejoice with, in a time we are promised won't be long to come! :)
Hey El!!! :D Just wanna say i'm always encouraged by wat u share on the blog, even ur struggles cos it reflects the reality of the narrow road we're journeying on :) Take heart!!! U r never alone on that journey :)
I too have been learning what it means to rely on God back here in sg. :) Things have been going well in spite of the stress from thesis & i'm thankful tt the Lord fills my heart with joy each day :) Lots to update u abt! Better to mail u :)
Alrighty! u take care k :) God bless :)
thanks guys, its great to hear from you! things are tough at the mo but im very encouraged by folk like you who care about me and who are persevering in godliness and ministry yourselves :)
Miss ya mate. Let's keep struggling together in our personal walks with God and keep focusing on spreading the Gospel!
So how many cabbies and random strangers have u talked to about Jesus of late? =)
Hi Elliot, Miss Boon here. Just want to wish you a happy Easter holiday. :)
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